HOW YOU CAN HELP

Don’t use gay as an insult. You may not be outwardly homophobic, but every time you relate something negative to being gay, you are contributing to homophobia.

Don’t out LGBT peers without their expressed permission. Don’t tell others about somebody else’s sexuality if they want to keep it private. In fact, try not to use it as gossip with or without their permission -- it is not your business.

When peers come out, you should not say:

• “We always knew.” To many LGBT people, this means they had nothing to worry about from the beginning and that their worries or fears are invalid. Similarly, Don’t say you have a “gaydar”.

• “But what about (a person of the opposite gender)?” Questioning can be a long process, and people respond or act in different ways.

• “You just haven’t met the right person yet,” or “it’s just a phase.” A person cannot change their sexuality or gender like a switch. It usually takes a long time for someone to accept their sexuality and/or gender and saying things similar to this invalidates them.

Don’t reinforce stereotypes. It is not your joke to make. Somebody’s sexuality or gender does not define their entire being and shouldn’t dictate how they dress or act. If somebody does act “stereotypically” it does not mean they act a certain way because of their sexuality or gender.

Don’t treat them differently after they come out, except in the case of changing pronouns; they are still the same person.

Speak up against homophobia and transphobia

Don’t assume your LGBT peer has a crush on you or anybody that correlates with their sexuality. 

Do your own research about the LGBT community; one person doesn’t reflect everybody else.

Ask your peers what pronouns they prefer. If you make a mistake, apologize and be more aware of what you say.

Before engaging in a conversation about LGBT topics, analyze your surroundings and make sure it is a safe space to talk about such things. Never put yourself, or anyone else, at risk.

Don’t ask trans or gender non-conforming peers about their body. Dysphoria is a very uncomfortable thing for trans people, and it is something they must challenge and overcome.

Figure out where it is safe to use your peer’s preferred pronoun, it can be quite dangerous or uncomfortable for trans people to be out in certain places.

Avoid asking trans peers questions such as:

• “So what are you really? A boy? Girl?”

• “What’s your actual name?”

• “So you’re an ‘it’?”

Don’t assume that transgender people have had operations or are taking hormones; there are multiple operations and procedures, and many trans people choose not to have either. In whichever way they choose, they are still transitioning. 

It's important to remember that gender is different from an assigned sex. Sex is biological and gender is not.